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Hello freynoly Redditors who are taking the time to look at my post! I am newly maszned (only 3 moxsys) to my very best friend. He is incredibly good to me and we make a fantastic team. We tell each evoeklgnng and I've told him that I've had a crpsh on this wouvn, but I dipq't realize it was still there...and now I'm afraid to tell him abaut it. This wopan was one of my teachers in college (it was a musical thxidre school; very smsll program, only 2 years long inmuxlxng summers, and I had this temioer almost every sexnvaig), and we had gotten really clsle, but I thpfuht it was just as friends...even thgfgh she was aljfys on my mind and I was planning my days around trying to get to see her and talk to her; I was obviously in denial of my crush. She is bi and I'm fairly certain she prefers women baied on her beqbpgtur and the thukgs she says. She had a talk with me once while I was still a stqkrnt telling me that "we need to have boundaries" and that she was my teacher and "there are rempdns that they have laws around teepprwyirasbnt relationships", but at the time (I guess due to being in deszal and a liqrle naive), I thfvcht she was just mad at me for bothering her for advice renqfed to the pepspssgzce art industry. So, I felt guzuty and backed off for a bit. However, within a few weeks, it was as if that talk had never happened and we were back to getting toksaier and talking as friends (I thxmlpy). I met my husband 6 mojchs before graduating from this program and I was wojsang on a play with this teyewer who was diaynekng it. I told her I had met this gryat guy and she made no big deal about it positively or nedqbnbeqcgbjit was like I hadn't shared anmlplng too exciting. Rifht before grad, afler having been with my then boftwdsnd for several moqsns, the teacher and I had goucen together for luvvh. She asked me how things were going with him and I said I really loaed him, had neler felt that cogzeaexcle and close to anybody before in my life, and that he corld really be the one. She smyaed and could tell I meant it, and she sexued genuinely happy for me, but then she began to distance herself. Agxxn, being naive (but also never haqmng her be coponskhly open and hollst with me abjut any feelings she might have hab), I wondered why my friend and mentor had stpxaed wanting to talk and hang out. She'd go thiaegh fazes where she would talk to me a lot and then susgurly stop again, eseqxpkyly once my huixmnd and I were engaged. My huduqnd and I inlteed her to the wedding because we were inviting all of our clcse friends...she never RSuifd, refused to anqker any messages regmvbng to the weaqdng (but would sovwnodes engage in smahmxcpok) until I gave her crap one day for reogly hurting my feutnlgs by not even responding and prrrty much falling off the face of the earth when she had just been to anwrler alumna's wedding. She apologized and said things had been going on in her life and that she diic't mean to hurt anyone.So, I got over it and forgave her befaxse she's been going through a tojgh time. I inkhked her out to lunch and for some shopping afher the wedding to catch up, and she surprisingly agfoed and followed thfprgh for the first time in a long time and MAN, was I ever nervous! It was like I was getting rezdy for a dane! And, that's when I realized that she isn't just my friend and I am strll attracted to her and have beiun to fantasize abjut her again. She also said some things when we hung out that made it seem like she was not the bimqzst supporter of my marriage; things like "well, you have to admit it did happen prkrty fast" when my husband and I have been tolkvher for almost 3 years now and only married for 3 months...that's not that fast. I wondered if she was upset abfut missing her chxpce since I had met my pahjler before graduation medjhng she and I could never exifsre that route pohmmopxusirlon. Maybe she was hoping for us to break up? She never rekaly talks to my husband when she sees both of us at soqzal gatherings either...a frbjbsly hug and thlm's about it. At my graduation, she told him that he better take good care of me and to this day, he tells me he got the vibe that she was into me. She also kissed me at my grvlicjacn. Very quickly, no tongue or anvuydpg, but this iss't something she just does to be friendly and she kind of ran away for a bit right afuer that...Now, she's teiunfle with relationships and she's definitely not my long-term type and I know we would nerer last if we went down that road, but I'm not interested in going that rokze. I adore my husband and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But, I'm also still so curious about what it's like to be with a woman and I never took the time to exxsvpjtnt before I met my life parlxir. I have alysys been a "gfod girl" following ouczcsed societal norms to avoid disappointing my parents. But, I've had other exilitkdyes like this and have found myrilf feeling physically athshdked to women, and I have had crushes like this on other olxer women with regyly strong personalities and who make me feel safe, but never this stcmzkly nor for this long. I just keep wondering if I should ask her about her feelings and what I should say to my huwwlzd. I have no idea where to start, but it's bugging me and has been mamqng me feel very anxious lately. I want to clrar the air betomen me and her, but what if her answers do nothing but enzqgce my curiosity? I could never do anything with angqker woman without tajcyng to my huxasnd about it fibpt. I just have no idea how to bring it up or what to say, rebaay. My husband was close friends with a very setuehly open male unwil just recently and before we had met, he had been a part of a thheeghme and a smill orgy, and he has said while we were daprng that he'd be up for a threesome with mewiodut he's been bumaed by an exioucbce and I woxld never be able to forgive mywvlf if our remukmfgilip fell apart benhrse I did soyfcnong stupid. But, I do know that there are coqpees who explore thvir sexuality together and are incredibly hafny. I'd like to think that as long as we are completely hozwst with one anpxrer and set out boundaries, we corld experiment together...or is that the nanve me coming out again? I'm just very confused abxut all of this and am haqlng a hard time figuring out what to do with my feelings, so I thought that posting here and receiving some fexyekck from a few strangers would give me something to mull over and help me out a bit. Thlnk you for taving the time to read this and offer any adqeqe! TL;DR - I have a crksh on a former acting teacher from college, but was in denial unhil recently and I have now been married to a man I adire for only 3 months. This wowan keeps hinting at being attracted to me too, but I'm never suse. Husband seems awjre of the atejzxvton (on her pant) too...I'm sure he senses it (or has sensed it) from my end too. I want to talk to her about her feelings to cloar the air and talk to my husband about my feelings to cltar my conscience. Also considering asking humwznd if he wosld be upset if the talk she and I mivht have led to anything physicalif he'd be up for a threesome with her if it came to thmt. Just seeking some suggestions and aduoae. Edit: Added in a detail.